How to Make It Work When You and Your Partner Are on Completely Different Schedules
While you and your partner may have a lot in common in terms of your interests, passions, long-term goals and even your affinity for strawberry-flavored gum, you may find that you both differ in terms of your schedules.
Perhaps your partner works the dayshift while you often work nights. Or maybe your partner always leaves his or her office at five o’clock on the dot while you tend to stay late into the night depending on projects, assignments and tasks. Or perhaps you go to an early morning yoga class while your partner likes to hit the gym in the evening.
Whatever the differences may be in terms of your daily routines, it’s not uncommon to find yourself feeling frustrated, disappointed or upset that you’re not getting to spend as much time with your partner as you’d like.
The good news is that there are ways for you and your partner to work together to deal with your conflicting schedules so that they don’t create conflict in your relationship.
Talk about it.
If you feel that your differing schedules are causing you distress, it’s important to openly and honestly discuss this matter with your partner.
If you’re concerned that you’re not getting to spend enough time with your partner or perhaps you feel as though there’s a distance growing between the two of you due to a lack of quality time, vocalizing your thoughts and feelings to your partner is a key step.
Your mate may not be aware that your conflicting schedules are a big concern to you and therefore wouldn’t necessarily address or even recognize this issue on his or her own.
However, once you can clearly express how you’re feeling, you’ll both be on the same page in terms of working together toward the goal of remedying and relieving the stress caused by your differing schedules.
When you and your partner have vying schedules, planning ahead and setting up times in advance for the two of you to be together is a crucial part of making a relationship work.
Since you and your partner aren’t at the liberty to just play it by ear when it comes to spending time together, it’s important to pull out your calendars and designate upcoming days and nights when you’ll get to see each other.
This can be done at the start of each week or each month, and by having these moments together already scheduled, you’re not only showing your partner that you’re making him or her as well as your relationship a priority, but the anticipation of being together can make the time you do spend with each other that much more exciting, intriguing and intimate.
Adjust if possible
When you’re in a relationship, compromise plays a large role in making it successful. If your commitments, such as your work, your kickball league or your spinning class are preventing you from getting to see your partner, it’s important to reevaluate your daily schedule in general.
For example, if you’re constantly finding that you have to stay late on the job, perhaps there are techniques and strategies you can employ in the office that would help make you more available out of the office.
Are you managing your time on your projects to the best of your ability? Are you delegating enough? Or are you taking on too much? Slight adjustments in your daily routine can go a long way.
Of course, depending on your vocation and outside activities and pastimes, these types of changes aren’t always possible. But they’re definitely worth considering.
When you and your partner do get to spend some time together, make sure that you’re fully present when you’re with each other.
Put down your phone or tablet and focus your undivided attention on your partner. In fact, when you’re truly mindful and tuned in completely to your partner, your time together will be far more meaningful and special, and you’ll actually be able to connect with each other on a deeper and more intimate level.
When you and your partner have differing schedules, it’s never been more important to be present and available and to make your time together truly count—that’s how you can keep your relationship on track.