Is Your Career Hurting Your Relationship?
Being able to find the balance between your career and your relationship can be no easy task. After all, jobs today contain higher levels of stress, longer hours, heavier workloads as well as commitments, projects and assignments that can continue long after you’ve left the office.
While you may be a stellar employee, if you’re not careful, your job responsibilities can be responsible for causing problems in your relationship. In order to avoid getting fired from your relationship, it’s important to not only recognize the ways that your job may be harming your connection, but also what you can do to stop it.
1. Do Not Get Distracted
When your mind is focused on work assignments, projects and tasks that you need to accomplish, it’s hard to accomplish anything else. Your partner may be trying to have a conversation with you, but your thoughts are fully engrossed on the meeting you had earlier in the day.
If your job is preventing you from being completely present for your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s time to present a set of ground rules that will benefit you, your partner and your relationship. Here’s an idea—put away your phone! Don’t respond to an email the second you get it. When you’re spending time with your partner, mentally check out from the office and be officially checked in to each other. It’s not healthy for you to be obsessing over work every minute of the day, so give your mind a break in order to prevent a relationship breakup.
2. Feeling Moody and Irritable For No Reason
Does your temperament change depending on the day you had at the office? When things are going well at work, you’re great to be around, but when things aren’t so hot, do you turn into a hot mess? For many hardworking people, their mood and behavior completely reflect the ups and downs of their workday, and like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, your partner never knows who’s going to show up.
Maybe your coworker tried to throw you under the bus in front of your boss. Maybe you made a mistake on a report you turned in. Whatever the reasons may be that put you in a lousy mood, it’s no excuse to take it out on your boyfriend or girlfriend. You can, and should, communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling, and what’s troubling you, but it’s not justification to snap at him or her, be rude or be in a foul mood that fouls up your time together. Leave it at the office.
3. Deal With Unreliable People
Because of the nature of jobs today, it’s not surprising that many people have had to face times when they were unable to keep commitments outside the office because of their work. Whether it was a pushed-up deadline, a prolonged meeting or simply an extreme workload, there are times when your job simply has to take precedence over other obligations. Even if the situation is beyond your control, being undependable and unpredictable are unattractive qualities in a significant other, and they can significantly damage your relationship.
In order to avoid becoming untrustworthy, it’s important that you openly communicate with your partner so that you both are on the same page in terms of the requirements of your job. Clearly, if you have a profession where you’re on call, your partner should understand and be okay with the implications of this type of work commitment. And if your job causes you to have late nights or even work the nightshift, you should develop a plan with your boyfriend or girlfriend so that he or she is not left in the dark about what to expect from you.
4. Are You Actually Egotistical
It’s wonderful that you enjoy your job. Maybe you make a lot of money. Maybe you just got a promotion. Maybe you love teaching Russian Literature so much that you talk about it whether or not you’re in a classroom. And while it’s great that you want to open up and share with your partner, there is such a thing as being overbearing and over-sharing.
When you’re discussing work-related topics with your partner, it has to be a give-and-take process. It can’t be all about you. If every conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend focuses on the law firm where you work, your latest case, your boss, her hairdo, the new office stationery and/or your parking spot, your partner will find this objectionable. In order to avoid being guilty of job-related TMI, it’s time to stop bragging PDQ. Case dismissed.
5. Are You Closed Off And Don’t Even Realize
On the flipside, there are times when your profession can cause you to become distant and disconnected from your partner. Of course, there are professions where you’re literally obligated to not speak about what you saw, what you did, who you were with or what you discussed. And there are also times when talking about your day at work can be the last thing you want to do. However, you should aim to be open with your partner so that your partner doesn’t feel as though you’re living a double life.
Within the parameters of what your job allows you to share and/or what you’re able to share, you should try to open up to your partner about what you’re feeling and experiencing so you can truly be intimate with him or her. Bottling it all up inside can take its toll on you, your partner and your relationship in general. Remember, your partner wants to be there for you, so don’t be afraid to let him or her in.
6. Are You An Unhappy Person
Unfortunately, not everyone loves his or her job. In fact, job dissatisfaction is a common experience among many working people today. If your job is making you depressed, distressed and upset, it might be time to look into changing your career for the better so it doesn’t end up changing your relationship for the worse.
It’s not good for your health, your partner’s health and the health of your relationship to be constantly sad and frustrated, and if your job keeps putting you in this position, it may be time to look for a new position elsewhere. Instead of moping and hoping for things to change, take positive action today so your mate doesn’t have to spend his or her time with a negative person.